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Coming out 
29th-Dec-2005 05:53 pm
I originally posted this to another lesbian community and was asked to post this here. I was flattered by the invite and joined this community to. Here is the posting. Hope someone will gain some benefit from it.

have been reading the journals in this community for about two weeks and want to see if I can give some enlightenment when coming out to your family and friends. First off it is never easy, even if you have opened minded friends and family. It is always an emotional experience for any involved but mostly for yourself. It is not uncommon to have the weepys for several days after regardless if the news is well accepted or not. This is your brain and bodies way of releasing all the pent up emotions and stress that you have been keeping in. It can be a good sign if you get no reaction from your family and friends when you first break the news. The have just gone mentally and emotionally in shock and need time to process the info and thier own emotions before they say anything. One thing you have to keep in mind with parents, you can't force them into acceptance. Any attempt to do that will only cause more emotional pain for all parties concerned. For example, both my parents are strict orthodox Catholic, they come from a generation when there was no real open tolerance to being gay and I heard on many occassions while growing up "Homos are offensive, an abomination and should either go back in the closet or all be shipped to their own island so they can leave decent god fearing folks alone." What was even worse was that my mother had a vacation cottage on the river Denial in which she often resided. Yeah coming out for me was going to be loads of fun and I was really looking forward to it.lol I was forced out when I was 19. 10 years later my mother not only invited my current girlfriend over to her house for dinner on mother's day but also personally invited my girlfriend to her only son's (and the baby of the family) wedding. I'm 38 now and my parents and I have a wonderful relationship. Now they are worried about me cause I haven't had a girlfriend in several years and they are afraid that I will grow old alone. I think if I tried to force my parents into accepting my sexual orientation before they were ready to deal we would not have the relationship we have today. I guess my point is sometimes with family depending on the backround and how you were raised you just got to be patient with them. How can you expect them to respect you for who you are and who you want to spend your life with if you don't respect them for what they are. If you have had a good experience coming out thats greta and I am truly happy for you. If you are having difficulty or you just don't know how your family feels give them time they will let you know how they feel when they do.
30th-Jan-2006 05:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for posting this. I think your story, your life is a powerful one. Giant Hug.
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