My name is Krysta. About a year ago, I found out that the guy I had been dating for two years was gay. He had been in the closet for about half of our relationship, and came out as soon as I broke up with him. I am now in the process of writing a book geared towards teenage girls who might be going through a similar situation. If you are interested in reading it, the first 8 chapters are posted in my journal.
I was just wondering if anybody in this community might be able to help me out at all. I am looking for gay males who came out of the closet while they had steady girlfriends who are willing to answer some questions for me in order to help make my book better (and more informational). If you fit this description
Hi, I'm new.
I'm a 16 year old boy... and I'm gay, as most of us are here in this community.
Just wanted to say hi.. I'll share my coming out story some other time when I'm not in a rush.
I originally posted this to another lesbian community and was asked to post this here. I was flattered by the invite and joined this community to. Here is the posting. Hope someone will gain some benefit from it.
have been reading the journals in this community for about two weeks and want to see if I can give some enlightenment when coming out to your family and friends. First off it is never easy, even if you have opened minded friends and family. It is always an emotional experience for any involved but mostly for yourself. It is not uncommon to have the weepys for several days after regardless if the news is well accepted or not. This is your brain and bodies way of releasing all the pent up emotions and stress that you have been keeping in. It can be a good sign if you get no reaction from your family and friends when you first break the news. The have just gone mentally and emotionally in shock and need time to process the info and thier own emotions before they say anything. One thing you have to keep in mind with parents, you can't force them into acceptance. Any attempt to do that will only cause more emotional pain for all parties concerned. For example, both my parents are strict orthodox Catholic, they come from a generation when there was no real open tolerance to being gay and I heard on many occassions while growing up "Homos are offensive, an abomination and should either go back in the closet or all be shipped to their own island so they can leave decent god fearing folks alone." What was even worse was that my mother had a vacation cottage on the river Denial in which she often resided. Yeah coming out for me was going to be loads of fun and I was really looking forward to it.lol I was forced out when I was 19. 10 years later my mother not only invited my current girlfriend over to her house for dinner on mother's day but also personally invited my girlfriend to her only son's (and the baby of the family) wedding. I'm 38 now and my parents and I have a wonderful relationship. Now they are worried about me cause I haven't had a girlfriend in several years and they are afraid that I will grow old alone. I think if I tried to force my parents into accepting my sexual orientation before they were ready to deal we would not have the relationship we have today. I guess my point is sometimes with family depending on the backround and how you were raised you just got to be patient with them. How can you expect them to respect you for who you are and who you want to spend your life with if you don't respect them for what they are. If you have had a good experience coming out thats greta and I am truly happy for you. If you are having difficulty or you just don't know how your family feels give them time they will let you know how they feel when they do.
How I came out. Well. It was March 2004. A few girls and one other guy, we all went down to hooters. The whole night, I felt nothing for any of the girls. So when we were leaving and getting on the trolley there was a realy hot guy. And I thought damn he's hot and a few "fun" thoughts about him. And then I was like what the hell am I thinking. Then I went home and thought about it. Then I "firgured out" that I was gay, but I said I was bi because I was still very in love with my girlfreiend. But besides her I fel nothing sexual for any girl. So about late this summer, got with a 1st guy and then I ended it with her, and now I'm all for guyies. (If your thinking I cheated on her,I didn't)And that's my story.
Ok, so lets see here.
My whole coming out story is really, well.. whole. I've yet to come out to my parents. But there seems to be that common understanding, hush hush deal of knowing. But, I've come out to my friends, and pretty much everyone else out there.
But, anyways. On with it.
I was in 8th grade, at the time. Shy as hell. I had a friend who I was kinda close to. She was in all my classes, she told me things she didn't tell others.. hell, we even had the same name. One day, her and I got into a discussion in Math class. She was ranting about how gay men were hot, but lesbians were gross. She couldn't stand the whole girl on girl concept. To her, it was dirty, sick etc. But guy on guy was completely fine to her. So, as she was bashing lesbians, I was sticking up for us (woo us!). From then, she asked jokingly, "So, what. Are you gay now?" And I laughed and laughed and put it off. Next period, we were writing notes back and forth to each other, and it somehow turned back to the gay question. I denied it, until she said "It's ok if you are, I don't care. I'm not going to tell anyone". So, I told her.
Thought things were fine, until lunch when, while walking downtown I saw her with a group of mutual friends. One girl yelled out "Hey Aleasha, are you ga-" until the girl I told hit her, as to say shut up. Horrifying. The next two weeks were hell. She completely avoided me, as did everyone else. And I had every kid in the school come up to me and ask if I was gay. Who asks that, really. BUT summer came and things were fine.
Til the next school year. Everyone seemed to forget (YES!) until she brought it up in Science. So, as a result, my last 3 years of high school, I've been known as "That lesbian chick". What a fun label. If I'd have known, I'd never had come out.
- Music:Peace of Me - Natasha Bedingfield.
Also, janiee ... I thought maybe a banner would be nice to promote, and I was bored, so I made one.
You don't have to use it if you don't like, and I'm not sure if you know too much about html, so .. if you have a question about how to post it, just let me know.
I was thinking after i wrote my story, that i have another quite big separate coming out story pertaining to my father, and the love of my life, Tiff...
it was the summer of my freshman year... and i was totally lonely. thinkin 'hell, i get no love!' and i had been posting on a site for teens.
one day, i get this IM from this girl... i had never talked to her before, but something drew me to her. we talked and talked for hours on end, about random shit... love, happiness, favorite color, you name it! her name was Tiffany... i just adore that name come to think of it.
we had talked for almost 3 months before we had discussed meeting each other. i was 15 and she was 17, which was also kind of a concern. she only lived about an hour and a half away, so we thought, 'hey! why not!' so, on one hot as hell summer day... she drove to me
3 lost hours later, she calls me from a payphone... 'hey... im lost, can you tell me how to get to you? im at the Home Depot' i told her i would walk to her...
it was the longest walk of my life.. i was so nervous... would she like me? would she KISS me? would she touch me? oh hell, ive never kissed a gal before.
then i saw her... sitting in her older honda civic, waiting and watching for me...
i took the long walk to her car... and saw her face... i have never seen anything so beautiful... our eyes connected... as well as our hearts.
i took a seat in her car, aching to meet my lips with hers, but failing miserably. we drove home, shaking and silent.
once we got home, she called her mom to let her know that she got to my house okay, while i sat mesmerized.
once she was finished with her phone call, she came to sit by me... moved herself closer and closer...
and touched me... shivers down my spine... tingles on the back of my neck, moving my soul inside and outside the realms of consciousness. we started innocent flirting, tickling each other, touching... closer closer... i leaned closer... she leaned even closer... our lips, just milimeters from one another... our eyes met, sealing our love for all eternity, with a kiss...
a kiss so passionate. so dear to me,i can feel every second of it in my heart, in my soul.. i never forget those first few seconds of the rest of my life... all within this one kiss. i remember the silk of her skin... the tenderness of her lips... the lips i still kiss to this day... i love her so dearly. tiffany paved the way for her and i to walk through the coming out process together, she came out to her family.. i came out to my father. (who hates me, by the way) and we are still going so very strong.. so very loving... so very much forever and always...
until the end.
((im sorry, i was thinking of her, i had to write this, she means too much to be omitted... baby i love you))
- Music:patty griffon- when it done come easy
so my coming out story is nothing compared to everyone else's. but i thought i'd share anyways.
I've always been the tomboy with a girl side that comes out every blue moon. It wasn't until spring of my freshman year of high school that I knew I liked girls. Sure, I always stared at girls I thought were gorgeous, but I thought that was completely normal. So anyways, the story. I went to a catholic school from pre-kindergarten to 8th grade, and my parents made me go to a public high school. For me I basically thought it was going to be hell. So I kept mostly to myself until softball open fields/gym (when it was too cold). Softball was the one thing I was fully focused on. I was a freshman and I expected to catch shit from the older girls, but I didnt let it phase me -- it couldnt, I ran faster, threw harder, and gave 100% more than every girl there, and it was so obvious. So when it came time for try-outs, the varsity coach told me that I'd be trying out with them. Talk about intimidation. So this one girl imparticular, I remember she was just obnoxious as hell and a huge bitch. Well for some weird reason, she decided that we were gonna be best friends ((which was probably only because she thought I was going to take her spot on the team)). But anyways, we ended up being best friends. Totally inseperable. Everyone assumed we were together since we were rarely apart, but the funny part was-- WE WERENT TOGETHER! Anyways, skip forward to summer ball game for the high school. She slids into home and starts screaming and crying in pain. She had a 3rd degree sprain. I felt horrible cause I know the first thought that went through her head "my softball career is over" ((cause that would have been my first thought too!)). anyways, the ambulance comes and she is like sobbing for me to go with her. I went with her, the doctor told her she'd have to go to physical therapy and would be out for the summer, and gave her some strong as hell drugs. So that night I decided to stay with her for emotional support, and since her room was in the basement I thought I'd be a big help. She didnt want to sleep in her bed, so I made her a bed on the floor next to her bed, elevated her foot, got her a new ice pack and then laid down in her bed. She began to cry and asked me if I'd hold her. She was my best friend so I climbed out of bed, put her head on my shoulders and made sure I caught every warm salty tear that left her eyes. We began innocently flirting, and next thing I know she was kind of gently kissing on my ears. I didnt think anything of it, and continued to hold her. Next thing you know, she kissed me. her warm, teary lips against mine. And that's when it happened. The 5 seconds our lips were together a million thoughts raced through my mind. "am i gay? maybe she's only kissing me cause her medicine messed her up. I really like this. what do i tell my parents? my father will kill me. I dont wanna let her go." We kissed all night long. And to my surprise, we woke up and she kissed me. It was the best thing ever, and I wanted to tell everyone minus my father. So I told her moms (yeah her mom is a lesbian). I told my older sister, my mom. They all said, yeah we saw that coming. And when I told my best friend Audrey I was scared, but she reassured me that she didnt care. So basically no one cared. and I loved it. I didn't tell my dad until my senior year. Okay, well my little sister got mad at me and told him. He threatened my life, and my girlfriend at the time. He was pretty out of control, but now he says he doesnt agree with it, but he loves me too much to not see me happy!
yeah.. that's pretty scatter-brained. but it's my story. and until she kissed me. i had no clue how great girls were!
- Music:Embers & Envelopes - Mae